About Michael Fulmer

I never planned to do this.

Around 2008 I wanted to make a living writing online, and went looking for a subject I could stay with for years. Nothing I cared about deeply seemed to fit, so I tried a few things I had some interest in. Relationships was one of them, close to a longer-standing interest in psychology. Once I got into it, it turned out to be more interesting than I'd expected, and I kept going.

By 2011 I was publishing breakup and recovery material and coaching people one to one. In 2015 I built a course that has since had over a thousand members. For a long time, a good deal of what I wrote was the standard material of the field: how to get an ex back.

In 2026 I rewrote all of it. The result is undoabreakup.com as it stands now.

What I believe now

Most advice written for people after a breakup is about changing the ex: what to text, when, how to make them miss you. Mine is about the person reading. How to get through a breakup with your self-respect and your real options intact, and how to work out what you actually want.

There are no tricks in it. They do tend to fail, since whatever a tactic wins has to be kept up with more of them, but that isn't the main reason. Anything that only works while the other person doesn't know you're doing it is something you already know they wouldn't welcome.

Sometimes the honest answer is that a relationship can't be retrieved, or shouldn't be. I'd rather say so than sell you a way round it.

Credentials

I'm trained in Gottman Method Couples Therapy (Level 1 and Level 2), a research-based approach to how couples handle conflict and closeness. I'm not a therapist, and nothing I write or offer is therapy.

Coaching

I take on a small amount of one-to-one coaching by email. Details are on the home page.