Should I Text My Ex?

Dear reader, I don't know you or your situation. So I won't assume. What I can say is this: It's okay to text your ex if that is strategic. And by "strategic," I mean you have a good reason, and you pick a good time and message to send.

Let's start with "good reason": this would be an outcome that is healthy and beneficial to BOTH.

Check your motivation.

What's your goal? Why do you want to contact your ex? Will your ex benefit?

If you have a good reason, then it MIGHT make sense to text. But if there's no good reason, you can put the phone down.

Assuming you HAVE a good reason, you then need to consider when, and what to say.

A good time to act: timing matters. After a breakup, please wait until enough time has passed. "Enough time" is however long it takes for bad feelings to subside. "Bad feelings" are emotions that incentivise avoidance. You need to clear enough bad to make room for good.

A good message to send: you need a good message. A "good message" is one that feels good to read. At a minimum, that means you craft a message that doesn't feel like pressure.

So, sending a text when you have a good reason, that you send at a good time, which feels good to read, is the magic combo.

And, the better the reason, the timing, and the message, the better your odds of achieving a satisfying outcome.

Everything else?

Not as important!

What now?

If you like, you can send me an email outlining your situation. I'll then send you an email in return, prescribing what to do. I charge $30 for the pleasure. That way I know you're serious, and you can expect me to be serious in return. To learn more, send an email to [email protected] with subject line should i text? and just type something like, "tell me more about getting email advice" to get the ball rolling.